Oxford Polo Club
GREETING POLO JUNKIES,
ITS HELL GETTING OLDER. I JUST NOTICED THAT
THERE ARE PLACES WHERE I CANT SCRATCH ANYMORE. BRETT FARVE IS A LIAR WHEN HE SAYS THEY ARE REAL COMFORTABLE JEANS. THEY NOW
FALL OFF MY BUTT TO THE POINT I GOT ARRESTED IN TEXAS THIS SUMMER BECAUSE MY BOXERS WERE SHOWING. TEXAS JAILS...REAL
COMFORTABLE. HAIR IS ANOTHER ISSUE...I'M HAVING SOME TRANSPLANTED OFF MY BACK TO THE TOP
OF MY HEAD TO AVOID FURTHER SUNBURN. I WOULD JUST START WEARING A HAT BUT WHO WANTS A FASHION WAR WITH TONY AND SARAH VITA.
AND LETS NOT GO TO WHAT DOCTORS WANT TO DO NOW. EVEN THE BOB EVANS WAITRESS SAID I COULD NOT
GET EXTRA BUTTER FOR MY GRITS UNLESS I SUBMITTED TO A BLOOD PREASSURE CHECK. IN FACT, I WAS TALKING TO CLAMDIGGER, MY THREE
LEGGED CAT, ABOUT GEO THERMAL DYNAMICS THE OTHER DAY AND HE NOTICED I GOT SLIGHTLY OUT OF BREATH AS I ATTEMPTED TO ILLUSTRATE
A VOLCANO ERUPTION USING HAWAIAN HULA DANCE AS MY MEANS OF CONVEYANCE. HE TOLD ME TWO THINGS BEFORE HE STARTED CLEANING THE
STUMP WHERE HE SHOULD HAVE HAD A RIGHT FRONT LEG AT BIRTH.
1. HE PRAYS EVERY NIGHT AND THANKS GOD THAT
HE IS NOT ME.
2. IT TIME TO GET OXFORD POLO BACK IN ACTION AND IMPROVE MY CONDITION.
(HE ALSO SUGGESTED I
PETTITION MAJOR ZUMLWALT FOR TIPS ON HOW TO "MAN UP")
THEREFORE..LET THE GAMES BEGIN. OXFORD
POLO WILL BE WORKING WITH
BG EQUESTRIAN, A NEW POLO FACILITY IN OCALA, THIS SEASON IN ATTEMPT
TO OFFER MORE OPPORTUNITIES FOR SPORT. SATURDAYS AT OXFORD AND SUNDAYS AT BG EQUESTRIAN LOCATED NEXT TO THE FLORIDA HORSE
PARK IN THE MONTHS OF MARCH AND APRIL.
CONTACT MARCOS BIGNOLI @ 561-703-6273 OR firstname.lastname@example.org
Saturday MAR. 21 - Club Polo
slow or fast Games at 10:30 and 11:30
Sunday MAR. 22- CONTACT BG EQUESTRIAN
Saturday MAR. 28- - Get ready for The Villages
Games at 10:30, 11:30 ENTER YOUR VILLAGES
TEAM TO WARM UP FOR THE SEASON. CLUB POLO AVAILABLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE.
Sunday MAR 29- CONTACT
Saturday APRIL 4 - MAY 30 -
VARIOUS TOURNAMENTS AND CLUB POLO
Club info for 2015
Oxford Polo Club / Pro Materials
12490 NE 72 Blvd
Lady Lake, FL 32162
352 330-0250 Polo Hotline
352 406-9433 W. Lord Lyall IV cell
$ 100.00 / season
(includes 1 session with major Zumwalt for motivational therapy)
$ 100.00 per player, per game
Paddocks- $ 5.00 per day, per horse
Apartments- $ 85.00 per night
GET OUT OF COLONOSCOPEY EXAM FREE CARD- $ 2,500.00 (nothing
In other News
* Keep me appraised of your intentions to
play this season so I can organize well in advance. As in the past all players took a weekend to sponsor our BBQ. Let
me know any weekend your prefer and MAY I ENCOURAGE ALL PLAYERS TO STAY FOR THIS PART OF THE DAY. IF YOU PLAY YOU STAY!
* The OPC carries a full line of brand items and apparel. T-shirts, Dress Shirts (short and long sleeve)
Cologne, License Plates, Squirrels, Hats, Coffee Mugs, Baby Diapers, Sunglass Holders, Saddle Pads, Wine Glasses, Coozies,
Luncheon Meats, Whites and more.
Great gift ideas! Order online at the contact us link.
Visit our Website. www.oxfordpoloclub.com
Blessings to all,
Lord of Polo
|International Weekend at Oxford Polo Club
|International Teams - USA, Scotland and Mexico
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME, CANT WAIT TILL THEY'RE GONE THEN YOU MISS
THEM. THING 1 AND THING 2 BOTH CAME HOME THIS WEEK ON SPRING BREAK FROM UCF AND WITHIN 20 MINUTES THEY BOTH GAVE MY TUMMY
A LITTLE BUDDAH RUB. GENTLE WAY TO SAY "DADDY'S FAT." WELL I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT! NO I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT. I'M
NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE! I USED TO BE 140 POUNDS, WEAR SPANDEX PANTS, HAVE 1.5 FT. LONG HAIR AND SING IN A ROCK BAND. NOW
I PUSH 185 POUNDS, WEAR RUSTLER JEANS FROM WALMART AND SING FOLK TUNES WITH A GUY THAT HAS EVEN LESS HAIR THAN I HAVE. THE
ONLY SOLUTION IS TO GET BACK UP ON MY HORSES AND GET FIT. STEP 1 CALL ANDRES REYES IN CHILE AND SAY YOU BETTER BE HOME SOON.
STEP 2 SET UP AN APPOINTMENT WITH DAVE MANUEL FOR A PEDICURE FOR ME AND SHOEING FOR THE HORSES. STEP 3 ALERT CHIROPRACTIC
USA THAT I WILL BE IN SOON FOR AJUSTMENTS STEP 4 START POLO AT OXFORD POLO CLUB!
MAR. 15 - Club Polo slow or fast Games at 10:30 and 11:30
Saturday MAR. 22 - Get ready for the Villages Tournament Games at 10:30, 11:30 ENTER YOUR VILLAGES
8 GOAL TEAM TO WARM UP FOR THE SEASON. CLUB POLO AVAILABLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE.
MAR. 29 - MAY 31 - VARIOUS TOURNAMENTS AND CLUB POLO Games at 10 and 11:00
EVENTS - WE WILL HOST THE LONGWOOD INTERNATIONAL TOURNAMENT SPONSORED BY THE OCALA POLO ASSOCIATON FOR ONE SATURDAY IN APRIL.
TEAMS SCHEDULED TO REPRESENT USA, MEXICO AND SCOTLAND.
Welcome to the Fall Season 2014
What a summer. I am back now from my travels. I went to where no man has gone before
and saw some old friends. Kirk looked about the same only much fatter and as age sets in he repeats the same stories
of his heroic acts over and over. Bones still works only now at the morgue, which he seems to like as he can say "
He's dead Jim!" all day. Sulu is as annoying as ever going around chopping everyone on the neck but
claims he does it "Gungan Style". On a sad note Scotty now smokes Dilytheim Crystals, Spock came out of the
closet and that thing in Ohurea's ear... turned out to be cancer. I know what you are thinking. He has had another
injury and is on meds. Not really. I am struggling with vertigo from an unknown cause however I think it makes me see things
twice as clear. Clear enough to warn you our season is "locked on target." Polo at Oxford Polo Club will begin
on Saturday Sept. 14. And will continue every Saturday until Oliver Butterworth grows his hair back.
Sept. 14 - Club Polo slow or fast
Games at 10:30 and 11:30
Saturday Sept. 21-
- Get ready for the Villages Tournament
Games at 10:30, 11:30
Saturday Sept. 28
- Get ready for the Villages Tournament Finals
Games at 10 and 11:30 Finals
Villages Polo Booster Club to attend
and party. Live Music, Food, Beer!
Saturday's until Olivers Perm Appointment - CLUB POLO
- Enter your team or
just get placed on one. We will have a few tournaments and two levels of polo
(Slower Game/ Faster Game) Reserve chukkers and preference.
oXFORD pOLO CLUB
Hey There To All!
How do you know it is time for Spring Polo to start? When you have to renew your umpire certification with the USPA.
I just got done completing mine and man was it hard You can take it on-line but they expect you to be able to read.
Some of the questions involved numbers and I am not strong at math. Not a single picture! Not one question like "are
you still having symptoms?" or "how did that laser procedure go?"! Here are a few examples of the questions
I found difficult:
1. Red player #1 hits the ball down field with the RDW (right of way).
To his right blue #2 approaches at a slight angle. Red #1's wife has severe PMS and refused to launder his whites from the
last game. As both players meet at the ball Blue #2's pants split in the seat exposing "too much information." Whose
A. Foul on red #1's wife for refusing to use Pamprin
No foul on red#1 cause we all know you can't get whites clean anyway.
C. Foul on Blue #2's
wife cause she was obviously angry with Blue #2 and attempted to erase the said "information" with excessive bleach.
D. All of the Above
2. Red #4 infers mal intent
emanating Blue #1. Anticipating a declining vector ratio of .0287 convergence to circumvent any posterities in anorexics
cycles, Blue #1 alters speed and terraformed action of the posterior digitalis of his bay mare. To avoid convergence with
the bay mare Red #4 should:
A. Take the Pamprin refused earlier by Red #1's wife.
B. Contact CDC immediately.
C. Tuck and roll.
Buy and feed the bay mare.
See what I mean....Very
Difficult. So not liking difficult things let me make it simple. We start polo next weekend. See Schedule below:
Friday and Saturday March 15/16 "Get Ready for The Villages"
Friday - 4:00
PM 8 Goal 4 chukkers, 5PM 4 Goal 4 + chukkers
Saturday - 10:30 8 Goal 4 chukkers,
11:30 4 Goal Polo 4+ chukkers
Saturday, March 23rd - Parrott Head Club Games at 10:30, 11:30
Saturday's through May - CLUB POLO Enter your team or just get placed on one. we will have a few tournaments and
two levels of polo each weekend. (Slower game and Faster game) Reserve chukkers and preference.
Club Info For 2013:
Oxford Polo Club/ Pro Materials
12490 NE 72nd Blvd
Lady Lake, FL 32162
352-406-9433 W. Lord Lyall IV (cell)
- $100/season (includes 1 week supply of Pamprin)
Green Fees - $100.00 per player, per game
Paddocks - $5.00 per day/per horse
Overnight Apartments - $85.00 per night
Correct Answers to test questions - $2500.00
Cost to Maintain Website - Priceless